Hello, people.

I've been crying this two days and I have not sleep that well. Believe it or not I slept for only 2hours! Samsi asked for breakup. Yes, BREAKUP. It's between me and him, but he'll make it official once his problems are settled. I wish that day will not come.

I really love him. I really need him in my life. I've given all my heart to him. I tried my best to be the best for him. All I do now is cry. And I know, even how bad I cried, he'll not change his mind. I hope he will. Amin!

Hi, people! Yeah, it's been a long time since I last blog my post. Well, I has a lot to share. Where should I start?

Let me start with myself. Well, I am now on 10days MC due to Acute Pelvic Inflammatory Infection. But I will report back to work really soon. Yeah, I am still working at Global Child Development Center as a Teacher. I really miss my children. Especially my Playgroup and Nursery One. And yes, I am still waiting for the Patient Social Associates staff to call me. I'm on tender for a month now.

Now, let me share about my Fiancee. We're still learning from each other. More about family, relatives, friends. Recently I've been having problems with his family. Especially his Mum. I don't know where to start. But it seems like the problem will never end. His mum has a lot of god-children. And most of the girls are Samsi's ex-girlfriend. Who expects Samsi's birthday surprise celebration that I planned, his mum invited his ex after I went home..?? Gosh! And I just get to know yesterday when it happened about 2 months ago. Samsi did not even tell me that his ex came. How disappointing and upsetting. Things are better for now. I just do not want to accelerate more. I'm afraid I might lose him.

Next, about my family. Well, Aiman is now coming 3 years old! Fast, huh? *laugh*. He's now able to understand and follow instructions, has a good eye-hand coordination, good gross motor skills and able to communicate well with people around him. His favorite friend is Samsi! Samsi pampered him a lot. I'm trying to let Aiman try to do fine motor skills. I've brought some markers, crayons and color pencils for him to grip and draw whatever he wants. He's doing it well, though. He's such a fast-learner.

*thinking*. Guess I continue watching The Little Nyonya on YouTube. Will update again soon! (:

Heylo people! Yesterday weather was fine but it was really dark when I just end my shift at 1900hrs. BabyChinta didn't text me like how he used to be. It's not that he has changed, but he just started his new career. So, everything will be new especially his working time and his environment. I hope I can deal with this. I admit, I was pampered by him too much.

I texted him when I ended work. I told him that I would be meeting Ira at Tampines. Ira was late, so I spent my precious time in the Library. I did an enquiry about my Library Card. Ira and me had our late dinner at the Big MacDonalds. I really miss this lil'girlfriend of mine! Then BabyChinta came. He looked shag. Pity him.

I wanted to tell him about what my Supervisor said to Teacher Sapiah, but I didn't have the courage to do so. Nevermind. Let it be. If you people think of taking advantage of Samsi and me, by all means. Just wait for the time for me to speak my mind up, okay?

Hi, people. Okay, I don't remember when was the last time I post my blog. I just update what happened yesterday, okay?

Well, yesterday my family and me went to Cik Midah's house to have some offerings functions. She's going to Hajj on the November 11, 2010. I'm happy for her. At least she got the "calling" from God already and she's fully prepared mentally and physically. Alhamdulillah.

BabyChinta went to wedding function with his family just behind Cik Midah's house. At first he wanna wait for my function to end, then he'll meet me. But I was so frustrated that I told him off. He turned up at last. *giggle*.

I read his Mum's messages, telling us to be fair towards families. For me, guys have to be with girls' family more than girls because if a girl always at a guy's place (even though with his family around), it doesn't show good expression to the girl. We're Malay Muslims. Even though we're in a modern century, we still have our bothers when comes to serious relationship and we want the guy to be our husband. You understand what I mean? Well, I sometimes don't have the respect for "her" as she celebrated her Hari Raya Aidilfitri even before she got engaged to Abang Didi. Isn't it shows that she doesn't make her family the first priority? And did I ever tell you that his Mum was comparing Yati and me about this, yet she sides Yati for this?? Yes, she did! I was so disappointed with his family.

I did tell him that I prefer Azmil's family. I really miss Mama Zaiton's and Papa Azman's sincere love and care for me. My family and his family doesn't interrupt my relationship with Azmil. They do at times, but they advices us in good manner and with careful words so that we will not be hurt. I miss those times, but I honestly have moved on. Things are different now. I have to get the fact that even how bad and cruel his Mum towars me, she is still gonna be my Mum-In Law in a couple year of time. I hope she'll realised and change. I doesn't hope that she'll come to me and apologise but at least have a talk with me about this, rather that she giving bad comments and compliments about me to BabyChinta and humilate me in front of their relatives.

BabyChinta and me went to karaoke at Grandlink since it was raining. The weather is bad nowadays. And I keep having running nose that leads me to have my Asthma Attack the first thing in the morning. Look how troubled my life is? But still I say, "Alhamdulillah."

I hope Cik Midah will have a safe journey back and forth. Insya'Allah. Amin.

Heylo people! I feel better now. Maybe due to the extra love and careful actions that my BabyChinta give me after what had happened. Yes, the scar is still there even though it's not bleeding anymore.

But I felt the pain again yesterday when I followed his family to Tanjong Katong Complex. I don't wanna elaborate. All I could say is, "Stop comparing Yati and me because we 're way, way, way far different person with different background of family, different attitudes, different behaviours, different complexion, different colout tone, different voice, different way we lead out lives, different way we treat our husbands-to-be and more!"

And you don't have the rights to do that to me too. Your sons and daughter are not the perrrrrfect people. No one is. And please stop pointing fingers on me and thinking that I am a very, very bad future daughter-in law to you because I will prove you wrong one day.

After months of not meeting him, I get to see him in front of my eyes yesterday at East Coast! What a speechless thing that happened! I was mending my heart alone, doing the reflective thinking on what had happened to my relationship, what will happen next and what will I do or react.

I don't wanna elaborate more about that problem. I just don't wanna be the reason why again and what his family did to me really get to my nerves. Enough of the comparing between Yati & me, keep saying "Yelah.. Kalau tk sudi, tak apa." because you are being hypocrite, and keep thinking that your children are perfect. You even assumed that I texted you that night and claimed that your children don't do such thing. How cruel and heartless my future mum-in law, right? Now, I nearly gonna lose my future man. It's been about 29hours now since I last see him and that moment was the momeriable ones. I really miss him.

I remembered my girls used to advice me that if a guy returns back to hold your heart, he is your forever. Will he come back? I don't know, I don't have the answer. But I'm hoping high that he will, because he said I am the reason why he smiled and he falls in love again. I love him too much. Please, Samsi, do come back to me. I miss you.

Nothing much happens yesterday. Just waiting for the clock to strikes 0800hrs, before I can proceed to work. I miss my BabyChinta! (: